Entry 22--AKA: "Halfway!"

I cannot believe how fast the first five weeks of school have flown by! Incredible! It seems just yesterday I was sitting in the CoHo blogging about my first day taking the bus, and finding my classes and now I'm knee deep in midterms.

I am exhausted, but so far satisfied with my little successes here at Davis. I got a B on my first English paper, which just about made my month. I've had a teacher call one of my in-class discussion topics "brilliant," and I've managed to write my very first philosophy paper (thanks to an all night writing session) and survive my first English midterm. I'll get back to you about how successful those are next week. As for the campus, I'm feeling more and more at home here, and less scared and lonely, which was my major feelings here the last few weeks.

The things I like about Davis are:
1. THE COFFEE. Seriously, I cannot say enough good things about the coffee on-campus. Unlike ARC's coffee, it doesn't taste like it was roasted in a boot found at the dump. It's organic, and delicious, and very reasonably priced--cheaper than ARC by a long shot!
2. The classes. The vast majority of the students in my classes are there because the subject is their major. This makes for a great learning environment when everyone is interested in the class discussion, and says things that are actually relevant to the topic at hand. Gone are the days of the idiot in the back of the class (who believes he knows everything) saying "Why are we studying literature, anyway. It's just made up crap no one cares about." Go back to your DND in the cafeteria, R-tard.
3. The professors. At first a little intimidating, yes, but after you get the hang of it, they are awesome. I so enjoy the lectures in my class (though my Philosophy teacher can be dry sometimes) and I look forward to them every day. I have an English professor who brings me close to tears with laughter some days, and my other professor makes these deep intellectual points regarding the literature that I actually can feel myself getting smarter as I sit in his class.
4. The Library. Holy shit, this library is bigger than any mall I've ever been in. I've never seen so many books in my life, and there are tables and desks everywhere. It's so quiet (because the students actually want to study), and the bathrooms are clean. I have a four hour break on Monday, and sometimes I just wander row after row after row of the books, taking it all in. I've still not seen every wing of the library.

Things I don't like about Davis:
1. The Freshman. I hate to be an upper-division snob, but the frosh are just out of highschool, and they still reek of gym class, if you know what I mean. They are loud, obnoxious, and mostly idiotic, and I've tried to avoid them as best I can in lunch lines, and coffee lines. I've already heard some of the silliest things some of these frosh know-it-alls have spewed, and it's enough to make a person lose faith in humanity. I guess it's bad because many of these kids were the "best and brightest" of their highschool, and have probably never had to stuggle with school in their life--until now. But why should they worry? Most of them haven't figured out yet that they don't know everything...
2. The bikes. Now, don't get me wrong, I'm all about transportation, but the way that some of these people ride bikes is down right frightening. I have seriously come close to death crossing the roads around here, and I find it even more frightening to think that assuredly some of these people drive cars as well as bicycles. I'd rather be hit by a semi-truck than a bicycle, because, if you think about it, if you're hit by a semi-truck, chances are you'll die. You get hit by some kid on a bicycle, you're in for alot of pain, broken limbs, and suffering--all because some kids was running late for class. Yikes. Not my cup of tea.

I guess that's it. I had better get back to reading before I get even more behind than I already am. Thanks for reading, as usual, and have a wonderful rest of the week.

Entry 21--AKA: "Anonymity."

I was walking across campus today after my 2:00 class and it hit me somewhere around A street at Shields Avenue that I was suffering from academic loneliness. I realized that I'm a week into my first quarter at Davis and I've yet to speak to anyone in any of my classes beyond "is this seat taken?" I started to recollect my first semesters at ARC when I didn't work on campus, and how I felt in the back corners of my classrooms, refusing to speak to anyone, afraid that I would say the wrong thing, and feeling behind everyone else who was younger, smarter, and was already used to this foreign collegiate atmosphere. I had really taken for granted these last few semesters the comforts of people who were familiar to me, teachers who I knew (even if it was through an acquaintance of an acquaintance), and classrooms that had become like a second home.

I am feeling extraordinarily average. Average in everything I do, and think. Even the dumb people in my classes (yes, there are a few), still seem to have some sense to them, and I'm beginning to wonder to myself if my own attempts at classroom participation aren't laughed at by others the way I laugh at some of the people myself. I think the first hint that I got of this apprehension was this morning when this guy I know from ARC who has been sitting next to me every class now sat two seats over, completely passing up the seat next to me. I sniffed myself wondering if I was emanating some sort of funk that I had, until then, not noticed, and didn't smell anything. Paranoia set in, and next thing I knew I started to analyze who sat next to me, and why they didn't speak to me and the ball continued to rolling around in my mind.

This is what led up to my revelation.

Part of me is kind of wishing I had decided up on Sac State, because at least most of the people I already know from ARC (at least English majors) are already there and I would know at least someone. But, Davis is where I set my heart on, and Davis is where I'll stay. I know this is going to be a hard quarter--change is always hard--I just need to stick it out.

Until then, I know that eventually Davis will be old, and I'll know people. It's just a matter of time. I just need to be patient and this, too, will be comfortable and easy.