Yes, I should be doing homework but I'm not and though I don't have a good excuse I will say that the weather this weekend is distracting in its beauty. I wish the weather stayed like this year-round. It's warm, but not hot; it's cool but not cold; it's sunny but not cooked; it's days like this I want to go to the lake and chill out on the shore.
Yesterday my friend Shawna came over to my house with her bike and we rode our bikes around my neighborhood for an hour and a half. It was such a blast. We figured it would be pretty warm so we got our start around 11 am. First, we went around my neighborhood, sticking to side streets and a park near my house. It was awesome! In the first ten minutes the chain came off of my bike and I popped it back on but it was in front of house where there was this contractor guy working on the house. He came out to the street and commented that my chain was too loose and needed to be tightened. I agreed and commented that I would have to take it to a bike shop since my boyfriend had already tried to fix it. He offered to fix it for me and within 30 seconds had my bike upside down with wrenches in hand. He totally fixed it--free!--and my chain didn't come off once for the rest of the time! We headed to the park and rode around the park then through the neighborhood around the park. We got chased by a dog, a huge, wolf-like creature, that had a voice like a vicious chihuahua and towered over my ankle. It was hilarious! We came back to my house after about 40 minutes, to get water at a radio to strap onto the handle-bars of Shawna's bike. Jason offered to burn us a Dr. Dre cd but since it was just a radio, no cd player, we had to say "no." So instead we bumped some old school jams in the vein of "adult contemporary" and were "hella cool." Actually, I was "hella cool" and Shawna was "beyond cool."
On the second leg of our journey we went to this other part of the neighborhood I had never been to before. We ended up on Garfield, near the park we were at earlier, and decided to head back to the park. From the park there is this trail that goes under this bridge where there's tons of graffiti and from there you can get to the other side of the Garfield. From there is another trail that follows a creek and there was a family walking along looking at the scenery. On the other side of the creek there were also some homies with garbage bags and clippers "trimming some foliage" which is awful suspicious, partly because why would anyone want to "trim foliage" but more so because why would 20-something homies want to to "trim foliage?" Uhm, yeah, growing some plants on public property, anyone?
So we headed back to the house and called it a day. We're going to go every other weekend or so during the summer which I think is awesome. I love riding my bike, especially now since it works and the chain doesn't come off it!
What else? Jason and I are going to do our part to "stimulate the economy" by purchasing a new bed with our stimulus checks. I don't want to spend the money but I think I've been having so many headaches lately because I don't sleep well at night. Our bed is all sunken and old, Jason has had it for almost 10 years, plus it will be nice to have a bigger bed. We're going to buy a queen size, pillow-top Sealy Posturepedic. We can get a really good deal at Sleep Train, somewhere in the area of $1100, which is perfect since each of us should be getting $600.
I will be finding out about my financial aid package this week and I am seriously nervous and excited. I'll let you know how that pans out.
My brother is getting married this weekend, May 3, so I'm booked all day Saturday.
Only 24 days until school is out.
31 days until my birthday.
So, look out summer, here I come.
Sunday, April 27, 2008
Wednesday, April 23, 2008
Entry 6--AKA: "Blogging for Inspiration--reality or fiction?"
Before I delve into some Edgar Allan Poe this evening in preparation for my Literature class tomorrow I wanted to take a moment to thank my blog, or my brain or both.
I had a class presentation on Tuesday (the 22nd) and I have been agonizing over it for the last several weeks. Then, in a stroke of luck (uhm...sarcasm) one of my group members dropped the class and it was down to me and another girl and well, panic ensued. I volunteered to take on the extra responsibility, including finding a visual for our presentation which, it turned out, was nearly impossible to do. At any rate, back to agony. On Sunday night I finally gave up on searching video stores for movies that would work with our short stories and in a final act of desperation, broke down and searched YouTube. What luck! It turns out there are weirdos out there who enjoy acting out short stories and posting them on YouTube for their own sick enjoyment, and for my academic sanity. I was relieved, book marked the page and went to bed for the night.
Monday I took my laptop with me to school to see if there was internet on campus that I could hook my laptop to, whether by line or wirelessly. Sure enough, there's free wireless internet on campus now, which is awesome, glad that they finally got around to doing it now that it's my LAST SEMESTER. So I got online, made sure the videos worked and they did. But, then I realized that I would look pretty stupid just pulling up YouTube and searching for the videos so I started thinking of ways to present the videos to the class. This proved an all day thought-assignment.
I got home Monday night, which I would like to add that Monday absolutely SUCKED. My new bike broke, my bike locker wouldn't open, I had to have Jason pick me up, I think I failed my philosophy test and then there was this whole "group project" stress that was not helping my state of mind. Back to Monday night: I got home and immediately started to think of ways to get the YouTube videos into class. I knew there was a laptop in the class that was hooked up to this projector, but I didn't know if the laptop had access to the internet. I also did not know if my laptop would hook up to the projector. Either way I was taking a risk. I was really stressing. I didn't even know how I would present the videos--pretty lame to just search, or bookmark, so I was beginning to get frustrated. Then, I wanted to blog. I always do my best thinking when I'm blogging.
I came to my blog site (here at eBlogger) and as soon as the blog entry box came up it hit me: you can post videos on here, pictures, and make it look however you want! It was like a light went on, angels started singing, birds started chirping--basically every kind of revelation symbolism you can think of occurred in that one moment. I was inspired! I created a whole new blog and titled it special just for our presentation, posted the videos, then I got crazy. I posted my entire discussion on the blog, along with pictures and I put in hyper links to all the sites I used to do research on all the keywords. It was awesome. Seriously, I don't like to toot my own horn, but I was so proud and happy. I decided that if we couldn't show the videos, or the site in-class I could still just give the URL for the students to visit on their own time; they probably wouldn't but at least it's out there and the teacher probably would.
All in all the presentation went on so much better than I had anticipated. I was pretty confident about my online presentation (as long as I could show it) and I knew what I was going to say. The technology worked so great, and the blog looked fantastic on the screen. The videos didn't work: I don't think the campus laptop had the plug-ins or something to play the videos but because I had pictures and text up I think it counted for our visual presentation.
I stayed after class to ask my instructor how we did and we received 75 points out of 75. FULL CREDIT! I'm totally stoked. I think I'm solid in for an A now in that class.
Well, I should really call it a night. Despite this week--since the end of the semester is really starting to get to me--I am very pleased with how our presentation went. I may have failed my Philosophy test, but I think I still have a good shot at either a high B or even an A if I do really well on the final. I cannot believe there are only 3 weeks left in my last semester at ARC...
it seems surreal. I wouldn't say "too good to be true." Perhaps "too true to be good?"
I'm having breakfast with Rose tomorrow between classes and I have been looking forward to that all week. (Hi Rose! I know you're reading!) There are exciting things on the horizon for the both of us and I cannot wait to share those with her tomorrow, and to see Alina. It will definitely be good times. Thanks again for reading. It's a pleasure writing for you, though I know it's not always a pleasure to read.
I had a class presentation on Tuesday (the 22nd) and I have been agonizing over it for the last several weeks. Then, in a stroke of luck (uhm...sarcasm) one of my group members dropped the class and it was down to me and another girl and well, panic ensued. I volunteered to take on the extra responsibility, including finding a visual for our presentation which, it turned out, was nearly impossible to do. At any rate, back to agony. On Sunday night I finally gave up on searching video stores for movies that would work with our short stories and in a final act of desperation, broke down and searched YouTube. What luck! It turns out there are weirdos out there who enjoy acting out short stories and posting them on YouTube for their own sick enjoyment, and for my academic sanity. I was relieved, book marked the page and went to bed for the night.
Monday I took my laptop with me to school to see if there was internet on campus that I could hook my laptop to, whether by line or wirelessly. Sure enough, there's free wireless internet on campus now, which is awesome, glad that they finally got around to doing it now that it's my LAST SEMESTER. So I got online, made sure the videos worked and they did. But, then I realized that I would look pretty stupid just pulling up YouTube and searching for the videos so I started thinking of ways to present the videos to the class. This proved an all day thought-assignment.
I got home Monday night, which I would like to add that Monday absolutely SUCKED. My new bike broke, my bike locker wouldn't open, I had to have Jason pick me up, I think I failed my philosophy test and then there was this whole "group project" stress that was not helping my state of mind. Back to Monday night: I got home and immediately started to think of ways to get the YouTube videos into class. I knew there was a laptop in the class that was hooked up to this projector, but I didn't know if the laptop had access to the internet. I also did not know if my laptop would hook up to the projector. Either way I was taking a risk. I was really stressing. I didn't even know how I would present the videos--pretty lame to just search, or bookmark, so I was beginning to get frustrated. Then, I wanted to blog. I always do my best thinking when I'm blogging.
I came to my blog site (here at eBlogger) and as soon as the blog entry box came up it hit me: you can post videos on here, pictures, and make it look however you want! It was like a light went on, angels started singing, birds started chirping--basically every kind of revelation symbolism you can think of occurred in that one moment. I was inspired! I created a whole new blog and titled it special just for our presentation, posted the videos, then I got crazy. I posted my entire discussion on the blog, along with pictures and I put in hyper links to all the sites I used to do research on all the keywords. It was awesome. Seriously, I don't like to toot my own horn, but I was so proud and happy. I decided that if we couldn't show the videos, or the site in-class I could still just give the URL for the students to visit on their own time; they probably wouldn't but at least it's out there and the teacher probably would.
All in all the presentation went on so much better than I had anticipated. I was pretty confident about my online presentation (as long as I could show it) and I knew what I was going to say. The technology worked so great, and the blog looked fantastic on the screen. The videos didn't work: I don't think the campus laptop had the plug-ins or something to play the videos but because I had pictures and text up I think it counted for our visual presentation.
I stayed after class to ask my instructor how we did and we received 75 points out of 75. FULL CREDIT! I'm totally stoked. I think I'm solid in for an A now in that class.
Well, I should really call it a night. Despite this week--since the end of the semester is really starting to get to me--I am very pleased with how our presentation went. I may have failed my Philosophy test, but I think I still have a good shot at either a high B or even an A if I do really well on the final. I cannot believe there are only 3 weeks left in my last semester at ARC...
it seems surreal. I wouldn't say "too good to be true." Perhaps "too true to be good?"
I'm having breakfast with Rose tomorrow between classes and I have been looking forward to that all week. (Hi Rose! I know you're reading!) There are exciting things on the horizon for the both of us and I cannot wait to share those with her tomorrow, and to see Alina. It will definitely be good times. Thanks again for reading. It's a pleasure writing for you, though I know it's not always a pleasure to read.
Friday, April 18, 2008
Entry 5--AKA: "Paying for College and Other Forms of Heartburn."
How does anyone do it? This stress, paying for college, waiting and waiting and waiting to find out if you're going to get some free ride from some sucker who's willing to shell out some cash? Or if you're going to have to take out a loan as large as some taken out for houses? Or maybe you should consider selling some bodily organs that you don't use as often as you should? After all, don't we all have kidneys? Or maybe I can donate an eye? These days the glass ones are so well done, no one would notice, or would they?
At any rate, I find out--at least I should find out--my financial aid package on May 1. I can't believe that it's so close! I have found myself, all of a sudden, wishing that this semester would take just a few more weeks, and perhaps I shouldn't have wished it to go so fast. Panic--sheer panic--is setting in and tonight, on some sort of obsessive binge, I applied for probably a dozen scholarships through fastweb.com and scholarship.com. Once I started I just could not stop! It was this intense desire to search out money, any money, and plead my case as to why I was the one they should give it to. Think of it as some high-profile, semi-anonymous, e-begging: here, let me hold out my electronic cup, please put some of your money in it! Except in this case you can't even see the disgusted look on the people's faces as they walk by reading your cardboard sign, shriveling their nose in disapproval. You just have to sit... and wait.
Next time I go to Berkeley I'm going to take $20 in ones with me just to give to the bums--I think it will lessen this feeling of Karmic retribution.
On to better topics. That hiring committee I was on went really well. I have two offers for letters of recommendation which makes me feel pretty good since I so rarely have an opportunity to do things where I can earn letters of recommendations. I've also given some serious thought to teaching--again--but I still cannot make up my mind. Law or Education--Law or Education. I think I have strong traits that would suit well for both, and either way I think I would be "giving something back." I just keep asking myself "Jo, what do you want to wake up to in the morning, everyday for the rest of your life?" Somehow the answer always seems to be "happiness." Thanks brain, no wonder you like philosophy so much you abstract sumbitch.
There's only four weeks left in the semester and I think I have my classes picked out for the summer. PSYC 370 and Yoga. I've decided against PHIL 350--I think--I just can't bring myself to be at school for that long, I'll be exhausted. That, and I have to train some people at work in preparation for my decreased hours and wacky schedule that I anticipate having come September.
Don't tell anyone but I have been secretly dreaming of new job opportunities. I really, really want to be an IA lately, I don't know why. I just feel ready to do the job, and most of the stuff I do is already most of that job anyway, so yeah. I am no going anywhere, but I'm secretly hoping that a position will open up sometime in the next few months so I can at least interview for it. I don't want to leave RAD (which is where I work now) so I know that there's really no hope of anything opening up. But I hope, and I know that hope is never a bad thing.
After all, without hope, I would not be where I am today.
Thanks for reading.
At any rate, I find out--at least I should find out--my financial aid package on May 1. I can't believe that it's so close! I have found myself, all of a sudden, wishing that this semester would take just a few more weeks, and perhaps I shouldn't have wished it to go so fast. Panic--sheer panic--is setting in and tonight, on some sort of obsessive binge, I applied for probably a dozen scholarships through fastweb.com and scholarship.com. Once I started I just could not stop! It was this intense desire to search out money, any money, and plead my case as to why I was the one they should give it to. Think of it as some high-profile, semi-anonymous, e-begging: here, let me hold out my electronic cup, please put some of your money in it! Except in this case you can't even see the disgusted look on the people's faces as they walk by reading your cardboard sign, shriveling their nose in disapproval. You just have to sit... and wait.
Next time I go to Berkeley I'm going to take $20 in ones with me just to give to the bums--I think it will lessen this feeling of Karmic retribution.
On to better topics. That hiring committee I was on went really well. I have two offers for letters of recommendation which makes me feel pretty good since I so rarely have an opportunity to do things where I can earn letters of recommendations. I've also given some serious thought to teaching--again--but I still cannot make up my mind. Law or Education--Law or Education. I think I have strong traits that would suit well for both, and either way I think I would be "giving something back." I just keep asking myself "Jo, what do you want to wake up to in the morning, everyday for the rest of your life?" Somehow the answer always seems to be "happiness." Thanks brain, no wonder you like philosophy so much you abstract sumbitch.
There's only four weeks left in the semester and I think I have my classes picked out for the summer. PSYC 370 and Yoga. I've decided against PHIL 350--I think--I just can't bring myself to be at school for that long, I'll be exhausted. That, and I have to train some people at work in preparation for my decreased hours and wacky schedule that I anticipate having come September.
Don't tell anyone but I have been secretly dreaming of new job opportunities. I really, really want to be an IA lately, I don't know why. I just feel ready to do the job, and most of the stuff I do is already most of that job anyway, so yeah. I am no going anywhere, but I'm secretly hoping that a position will open up sometime in the next few months so I can at least interview for it. I don't want to leave RAD (which is where I work now) so I know that there's really no hope of anything opening up. But I hope, and I know that hope is never a bad thing.
After all, without hope, I would not be where I am today.
Thanks for reading.
Monday, April 7, 2008
Entry 4--AKA: "Not always feeling on the up and up."
I don't know what it is lately but I am definitely not feeling my best. I haven't been sleeping well at all and I cannot decide if I'm getting sick or suffering from terrible allergies. Whatever my problem it is certainly taking its toll on my attitude this last few weeks and this week is no exception.
I had a migraine on Friday which--forgive my vulgarity--sucked donkey balls. I hate, hate, hate having headaches and that hate is only made exponential when I wake up with one. The only thing worse than waking up with a headache is waking up with a migraine, which was the exact situation on Friday. I wouldn't have gone to work except that the other person with the door keys, as well as any knowledge on how to get the place running, had already called in sick and I knew he wouldn't be there. So I sucked it up, stopped for a 4-shot espresso on my way to work and hoped that it was just a serious case of caffeine addiction causing my headache.
It wasn't. After about an hour at work I was feeling like I couldn't keep my eyes open. The lights were starting to get the blurry sensation around them and I was beginning to get nauseous. At that point it's only a matter of time until my stomach begins expelling its contents (no matter how little might be in there) so I called it a day and went home. Once home I not only was struggling with a headache but was starting to feel oncoming flu symptoms so Jason hooked up some night-time theraflu (yes, at noon), I drank a crap load of water and curled up in bed with the lights out managing to go to sleep. I woke up sometime between 4-5 pm that afternoon and though my head was feeling much better I was still feeling some pain. I was just glad I wasn't feeling nauseous--I hate feeling nauseous.
The rest of the weekend was pretty uneventful. I managed to get a lot of homework done. After my last streak of good test grades I'm feeling more motivated than I have all semester.
I should be getting my tax return any day. I'm so excited at the thought of having savings again!
We're reading "The Sound and the Fury" by Faulkner now in my Literature class. I find that book so fascinatingly disorienting. It took awhile, but the style has definitely grown on me. I enjoy that the author doesn't just feed you the information: you have to really interpret each word on the page and use the context to really understand the plot. It's as though Faulkner respected the reader enough to assume that it will be understood.
"Here, reader, you're smart--figure it out!"
"Thanks, Faulkner; you're such a pal!"
I'm sure that's not what he intended but I'll take my compliments, no matter how far-fetched, where I can find them.
In other news I have decided I'm not going to watch the news anymore in the mornings. (See that? How I started with "in other news" to begin talking about news? How clever.) I find that I experience more anxiety on days where I watch news in the morning and I am not going to take that. Not from CNN, MSNBC, and certainly not you, FoxNews..."America's unbiased news" my ass. I'm tired of the elections or primaries or whatever they're called at this stage in the game, I'm tired of the economy, I'm tired of recession, stock, housing crisis, the Israeli-Iran disputes, war in Iraq and every other nonsensical, over-the-top, media nightmare, ratings-grabbing crap that is circulating the networks.
I'm tired of it!!!
At least they should tell you something new--they are the NEWs--right? I'm just going to start calling it the olds.
"Didja watch the olds?"
"Nope, I decided it would be a better use of my time tweezing every hair off of my limbs, one by one."
What else? Nothing I guess. It's 9pm and I am exhausted. I have to get up early tomorrow to go my instructor's office hour before class. Sure am glad she holds her office hour at 6:45 am. The epitome of convenient, especially for those of us who have nothing better to do than plan our lives around 6:45 am office hours. Nice.
Seriously, that's all. I'm grumpy, so don't mind it. Actually, by that measure, just disregard this whole blog.
Thanks.
I had a migraine on Friday which--forgive my vulgarity--sucked donkey balls. I hate, hate, hate having headaches and that hate is only made exponential when I wake up with one. The only thing worse than waking up with a headache is waking up with a migraine, which was the exact situation on Friday. I wouldn't have gone to work except that the other person with the door keys, as well as any knowledge on how to get the place running, had already called in sick and I knew he wouldn't be there. So I sucked it up, stopped for a 4-shot espresso on my way to work and hoped that it was just a serious case of caffeine addiction causing my headache.
It wasn't. After about an hour at work I was feeling like I couldn't keep my eyes open. The lights were starting to get the blurry sensation around them and I was beginning to get nauseous. At that point it's only a matter of time until my stomach begins expelling its contents (no matter how little might be in there) so I called it a day and went home. Once home I not only was struggling with a headache but was starting to feel oncoming flu symptoms so Jason hooked up some night-time theraflu (yes, at noon), I drank a crap load of water and curled up in bed with the lights out managing to go to sleep. I woke up sometime between 4-5 pm that afternoon and though my head was feeling much better I was still feeling some pain. I was just glad I wasn't feeling nauseous--I hate feeling nauseous.
The rest of the weekend was pretty uneventful. I managed to get a lot of homework done. After my last streak of good test grades I'm feeling more motivated than I have all semester.
I should be getting my tax return any day. I'm so excited at the thought of having savings again!
We're reading "The Sound and the Fury" by Faulkner now in my Literature class. I find that book so fascinatingly disorienting. It took awhile, but the style has definitely grown on me. I enjoy that the author doesn't just feed you the information: you have to really interpret each word on the page and use the context to really understand the plot. It's as though Faulkner respected the reader enough to assume that it will be understood.
"Here, reader, you're smart--figure it out!"
"Thanks, Faulkner; you're such a pal!"
I'm sure that's not what he intended but I'll take my compliments, no matter how far-fetched, where I can find them.
In other news I have decided I'm not going to watch the news anymore in the mornings. (See that? How I started with "in other news" to begin talking about news? How clever.) I find that I experience more anxiety on days where I watch news in the morning and I am not going to take that. Not from CNN, MSNBC, and certainly not you, FoxNews..."America's unbiased news" my ass. I'm tired of the elections or primaries or whatever they're called at this stage in the game, I'm tired of the economy, I'm tired of recession, stock, housing crisis, the Israeli-Iran disputes, war in Iraq and every other nonsensical, over-the-top, media nightmare, ratings-grabbing crap that is circulating the networks.
I'm tired of it!!!
At least they should tell you something new--they are the NEWs--right? I'm just going to start calling it the olds.
"Didja watch the olds?"
"Nope, I decided it would be a better use of my time tweezing every hair off of my limbs, one by one."
What else? Nothing I guess. It's 9pm and I am exhausted. I have to get up early tomorrow to go my instructor's office hour before class. Sure am glad she holds her office hour at 6:45 am. The epitome of convenient, especially for those of us who have nothing better to do than plan our lives around 6:45 am office hours. Nice.
Seriously, that's all. I'm grumpy, so don't mind it. Actually, by that measure, just disregard this whole blog.
Thanks.
Thursday, April 3, 2008
Entry 3--AKA: "My definition of a successful week."
Work drama aside this week has been awesome. I am so very happy about how this semester is shaping up that I am almost sad that I'm done with ARC. Isn't that the way it goes? Just about time you get comfortable is about the same time you're done with whatever you're comfortable in. I can only hope that I am this successful at Davis as I have been at ARC this semester. Allow me to recap my week, at least in academic terms.
Monday was your average Monday: frantically trying to catch up on all the homework I didn't do last weekend, but I was let down that my Philosophy instructor had not finished grading our tests from last week. I studied, alot, for my Anthropology test on Tuesday and I was really stressing this test. I have been on a major "B" streak this semester in both my Philosophy class and my Anthropology class so far this semester and though, under normal circumstances, I wouldn't normally care this semester it is frustrating. I should not be getting B's in my Anthropology class--this class is definitely not rocket science by any stretch. I know why: I have absolutely no interest in this class, the subject matter, or being awake at the time of the morning of this particular class. At 7:30 in the morning my first cup of coffee hasn't even kicked in yet! I know it's no excuse, which is why I went the extra mile to prepare for this test.
Tuesday I got out of bed early which is almost shocking since I think it was the first time in three weeks I haven't slept through my alarm and ran out of the house in a frenzy to get to class on time. I did, however, have, not one, but two revelations in the shower which perturbed me and made me start of the day in a fit of anxiety. I had forgotten to study this definition that I thought sure would be on the test, and I realized I had forgotten to email some information to a friend from my Anthropology class regarding the test. I hate when I forget things. I hurried through my shower, threw my crap in my bag and rushed out of my house to get to my test on time. I was the first person to finish the test (per the usual) and I went to the cafeteria to read for my Literature class. While on my way to my Literature class I had an anxiety attack that really took me off-guard. In a matter of minutes it suddenly hit me the scope of all the life-changing decisions I, or more appropriately: we, have had to make the last few months and our future. Suddenly I was freaked out about my transfer: would I be good enough to transfer? Am I smart enough? What if I fail? What if I can't even pay for it to find out if I would be a success? What if we can't get a loan for a house? What if we buy a house and it collapses? What if, what if, what if??? By the end of it I found myself sitting on the floor of Davies hall in front of my lit class my hands in a white-knuckle grip around the handles of my bag, holding my breath and staring straight ahead at a wall. I must've looked like a nut job. I came out of it, rattled, but I survived. It was the first anxiety attack I've had regarding all of this, as long as you don't count my string of nightmares involving my Davis application last October.
On a personal note, rather than academic, Tuesday night we had to take Jason's mom to the emergency room. She's okay--it was nothing serious, fortunately--but we were at the hospital until almost 2 in the morning. I was absolutely exhausted by the time we got home but I managed to go to work the next day. I still haven't managed to catch up on my sleep but I hope to this weekend. Give me one Saturday where I can sleep until I want to and I should be good.
Wednesday my Philosophy instructor passed back our much-anticipated (at least I was anticipating) test. I couldn't believe it: I got a 94%! I was so happy. He wrote on the board the curve for the class, which was astonishing.
A-5
B-1
C-1
D-1
F-6
When he did that, which was right before he passed back the tests, I had this moment of self-doubt and found myself whispering "please be an A, please be an A, please be an A" over and over until he handed me my test. Have I said I was happy? Oh, more than that: ecstatic. Overjoyed. Overwhelmed. Not bad for someone who is not good at math in a class that is basically math disguised as philosophy. I did not have an anxiety attack that day, but part of that may be because I was on only 5 hours of sleep. We will never know.
Thursday. Today. Well, for one, I'm glad it's over. I woke up late, but not terribly, and made it to class just on-time. Our instructor handed out our tests from Tuesday and--holy crap--96%! I am so happy I finally broke my streak of B's! I think at this point I officially have a shot at getting a 4.0 this semester, which is, well, AWESOME. What a way to end my time at ARC.
This week I was also asked to be on a hiring committee for an English Writing instructor, which is a huge honor but is also really exciting. One of my literature teachers from last semester asked me on Tuesday and it was the teacher whose class I really struggled in last semester. ("Struggled" is kind of harsh, but I definitely had to work hard in her class!) I am so flattered that she thought of me, but I am really looking forward to being a part of the process because I know someday I will have to go through that experience again and it will only help me to know what is going on on the other side.
What else? I think that's it. Work is still kind of sucking, but I'm over complaining about it, at least at the moment. Thanks for reading. It's always a pleasure to know you're out there.
Monday was your average Monday: frantically trying to catch up on all the homework I didn't do last weekend, but I was let down that my Philosophy instructor had not finished grading our tests from last week. I studied, alot, for my Anthropology test on Tuesday and I was really stressing this test. I have been on a major "B" streak this semester in both my Philosophy class and my Anthropology class so far this semester and though, under normal circumstances, I wouldn't normally care this semester it is frustrating. I should not be getting B's in my Anthropology class--this class is definitely not rocket science by any stretch. I know why: I have absolutely no interest in this class, the subject matter, or being awake at the time of the morning of this particular class. At 7:30 in the morning my first cup of coffee hasn't even kicked in yet! I know it's no excuse, which is why I went the extra mile to prepare for this test.
Tuesday I got out of bed early which is almost shocking since I think it was the first time in three weeks I haven't slept through my alarm and ran out of the house in a frenzy to get to class on time. I did, however, have, not one, but two revelations in the shower which perturbed me and made me start of the day in a fit of anxiety. I had forgotten to study this definition that I thought sure would be on the test, and I realized I had forgotten to email some information to a friend from my Anthropology class regarding the test. I hate when I forget things. I hurried through my shower, threw my crap in my bag and rushed out of my house to get to my test on time. I was the first person to finish the test (per the usual) and I went to the cafeteria to read for my Literature class. While on my way to my Literature class I had an anxiety attack that really took me off-guard. In a matter of minutes it suddenly hit me the scope of all the life-changing decisions I, or more appropriately: we, have had to make the last few months and our future. Suddenly I was freaked out about my transfer: would I be good enough to transfer? Am I smart enough? What if I fail? What if I can't even pay for it to find out if I would be a success? What if we can't get a loan for a house? What if we buy a house and it collapses? What if, what if, what if??? By the end of it I found myself sitting on the floor of Davies hall in front of my lit class my hands in a white-knuckle grip around the handles of my bag, holding my breath and staring straight ahead at a wall. I must've looked like a nut job. I came out of it, rattled, but I survived. It was the first anxiety attack I've had regarding all of this, as long as you don't count my string of nightmares involving my Davis application last October.
On a personal note, rather than academic, Tuesday night we had to take Jason's mom to the emergency room. She's okay--it was nothing serious, fortunately--but we were at the hospital until almost 2 in the morning. I was absolutely exhausted by the time we got home but I managed to go to work the next day. I still haven't managed to catch up on my sleep but I hope to this weekend. Give me one Saturday where I can sleep until I want to and I should be good.
Wednesday my Philosophy instructor passed back our much-anticipated (at least I was anticipating) test. I couldn't believe it: I got a 94%! I was so happy. He wrote on the board the curve for the class, which was astonishing.
A-5
B-1
C-1
D-1
F-6
When he did that, which was right before he passed back the tests, I had this moment of self-doubt and found myself whispering "please be an A, please be an A, please be an A" over and over until he handed me my test. Have I said I was happy? Oh, more than that: ecstatic. Overjoyed. Overwhelmed. Not bad for someone who is not good at math in a class that is basically math disguised as philosophy. I did not have an anxiety attack that day, but part of that may be because I was on only 5 hours of sleep. We will never know.
Thursday. Today. Well, for one, I'm glad it's over. I woke up late, but not terribly, and made it to class just on-time. Our instructor handed out our tests from Tuesday and--holy crap--96%! I am so happy I finally broke my streak of B's! I think at this point I officially have a shot at getting a 4.0 this semester, which is, well, AWESOME. What a way to end my time at ARC.
This week I was also asked to be on a hiring committee for an English Writing instructor, which is a huge honor but is also really exciting. One of my literature teachers from last semester asked me on Tuesday and it was the teacher whose class I really struggled in last semester. ("Struggled" is kind of harsh, but I definitely had to work hard in her class!) I am so flattered that she thought of me, but I am really looking forward to being a part of the process because I know someday I will have to go through that experience again and it will only help me to know what is going on on the other side.
What else? I think that's it. Work is still kind of sucking, but I'm over complaining about it, at least at the moment. Thanks for reading. It's always a pleasure to know you're out there.
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