Entry 34--AKA: "Blogging for Mental Health"

I'll try to keep this short because I have so much homework to do: between the papers, reading and just plain mental run-throughs of highly intense material, my brain is working on overload with a definite shortage of time. I had this migraine from hell yesterday afternoon which I think is part typical mid-quarter stress, part strain of being mentally and physically active from 5 am to midnight three days a week, and part just plain old depression at the fact that I've become used to being called "no-fun."

It seems, as a matter of fact, that the word "fun" over the last few years has really lost meaning for me. "Fun" used to imply seeing my friends, going out drinking, staying up late, watching movies, having absurd parties that involved cheese, or puzzles, making iron-on decal tee-shirts, or doing word puzzles. Now, when I think of fun I imagine just sitting...that's it. Well, I suppose that's not all I'm doing in these visions: I'm not feeling rushed, I'm not panicking about a due-date, not fretting over my weekend time management, or fitting in appointments in where I can without juggling my ever-so-complicated work/school/life schedule. Sitting. What a concept. In these visions it's not about what I'm doing, it's about what I'm not doing. How strange that fun entails a negative connotation--that has to say something, I'm just not sure what.

So, I'm tired. I am looking forward to being finished with my A.B.--FINALLY--in just less than a year. Despite all these mental blocks, and the occasional depression-induced setback, I am feeling fairly good about things. I just have bad days sometimes, and I'm sure that today's was brought on by that nightmare headache last night, which hindered not only my motivation to get any homework done, but also impeded the large portion of my evening, even I had wanted to get it done.

Well, I had better stop putting off my homework now, since my minutes these days are precious and few. As always, thanks for reading.