Entry 30--AKA: "Coping with a case of the D's."

Disappointment, distraction, disillusionment...the d's are upon me!

This quarter has been eye-opening, in both good and bad ways. I'm sincerely questioning so many parts of my life right now, and in many ways feel like I am at the beginning of a whole new journey. It is such a strange feeling to see the forks in the road in front of you, and to have to navigate them through so that the end result is not altogether unfavorable. It's hard to do.

I am having second-thoughts about teaching. Why? I don't know. My resolve has been seriously shaken after my application debacle, and it is hard for me to not see that as failure. After all, I should have looked at the job description and researched the qualifications months ago and rolled out a plan of action last summer knowing what I intended to do. It just makes me wonder if my heart is really "in it," or if I'm just pursuing this as the easiest course of action given my current state of affairs.

Also, my logic class is not going well. I think I may have reached my limit, and I am now faced with the unsavory prospect that I might do poorly in this class. I am now researching the repercussions I would face should I drop the class--if I even have time to drop the class--and if I don't drop the class, what would happen should I do poorly (i.e. fail). I have basically decided that philosophy is the way to go with my minor, which is fine. It's probably a better fit anyway, given that my major is literature. However, I cannot help but feel a twinge of disappointment, since the field of logic is a genuine interest to me. I suppose this is one of those things I will have to pursue in my own time.

Needless to say, I have some decisions to make. Finals are looming, and summer school is just around the corner. Not to mention that I realized I should probably take the GRE's this year if I'm going to seriously apply for grad school for fall 2010--which, of course, lends itself to a whole heap of considerations given my hang-ups on my future....

That is where I'm at. I've been wanting to get this out for awhile now, but I've been too busy trying to stay ahead in my reading. Since I fell behind in reading this weekend due to a poetry paper due-date, and stress over an impending change in my job situation, I think it's safe to say I deserve a quick break to clear my head via blogging.

As always, thanks for reading.

--J